Scrambling to Make a Pie.

Reading through a Bitchin' Kitchen cookbook, one recipe caught my eye right away: Dark Chocolate and Caramelized Banana Pie.  I thought, It has chocolate.  It has bananas.  I must make it.

That was before I realized that the recipe was vegan.  I have nothing against tofu on principle, but I'm not able to make my taste buds overrule my brain's insistence that I am, in fact, eating soybean curd.  It's like how some people can't bring themselves to eat calamari.  So I followed the recipe with two changes: I used unsalted butter in place of the cocoa butter* for the crust and substituted cream cheese for the tofu.  It turned out OK, more like a no-bake cheesecake ("No!  Really?").  The crust was a bit greasy and the bananas a little soggy.  I also decided that the bananas would have worked much better with a more "pie-like" filling.  Determined to make a better version, I looked up French silk pie recipes, and found this one.  I chose it because not only does it have good reviews; unlike most French silk pie recipes, it doesn't contain raw eggs.

Ah, the eggs.  I've made a custard before, so I should have known better.  I really should have.  But the dog wanted inside and my phone battery was alerting me of its untimely death, so I left the eggs and sugar on the stove top (It'll just be a moment!). When I came back, I noticed a very distinctive smell.

It smelled like breakfast.

  

Those white bits are never a good sign.

What I did wrong with both the original pie and then the new pie:
1) Put too much butter in the crust.
2) Didn't put the bananas on paper towels out of the oven, so the melted sugar made the pie soggy.
3) Stopped stirring and walked away from eggs on the stove top, resulting in scrambled eggs.

I did start out with the original crust recipe, still using unsalted butter in place of the cocoa butter.  I doubled the recipe as well, because I used a 9" pie pan instead of a 7" mold.

I used just enough of the melted butter to make the ingredients stick lightly together. Even so, there still seemed to be too much, so I pressed it into the pan using a paper towel.

Like shortbread crusts, this one has a tendency to puff up in the oven.  So once it was slightly cooled, I ran the back of a spoon over it.  

Finished crust.

I also doubled the filling recipe, which gave me enough for about 1 1/2 pies.**  The first thing I did was make the whipped cream and set it aside.  Using cold heavy cream and a chilled bowl and whisk will make your cream whip faster.*** Some people use a bowl inside another bowl containing ice water, but I just put my bowl and whisk in the freezer for a couple minutes and then wipe off any condensation.

Whipping to "stiff peaks" means that you can lift the whisk,
and the cream will form a peak at the top

which won't fall to one side or the other (that would be "soft peaks").

I creamed the butter after that, so that it would be ready to pour the chocolate mixture into it.  Next, I cooked the eggs and sugar on the lowest heat setting on the stove top.  Remember to stir continuously to prevent any accidental omelettes!  I used a candy/deep-fry thermometer to reach 160°F, but as the recipe says, you can also see if it coats the back of a metal spoon to see if it's done.  Then I added the chocolate off the heat and after cooling, and that was all beaten together with the butter.

I didn't realize that the bowl reflected so much light from that angle.

When incorporating ingredients like egg whites or whipped cream, you're aiming for a light, fluffy texture, so you don't want to beat or stir vigorously.  Carefully fold in the whipped cream until no white streaks remain.

The filling should be about the texture of pudding. Then just pour it into the pie crust and chill in the fridge.

On to the caramelized bananas.  If you watch the video that goes along with the recipe, Nadia doesn't bake the bananas; she broils them.  I think this is a more efficient way to caramelize the sugar, so I chopped 2 small bananas (I didn't want to cover the whole pie), dipped each side in the raw sugar, shook off the excess, and placed them under the broiler on a baking sheet for about 3 minutes.  You'll see the sugar start to melt and bubble.  Take the bananas out when the tops are lightly brown.

I put the bananas onto a paper towel to get rid of excess moisture; they'll still be shiny and sticky.  Then I made more whipped cream (I made it with a cup of heavy cream, a tablespoon of granulated sugar, and a teaspoon of vanilla and a tablespoon of rum****, so enough to have about half left over), spread that on the chilled pie, topped with bananas, et voilà:

You can, of course, top the pie with as much whipped cream and as many or as few bananas as you like.  After putting my desired amount on, I had extras.  So I ate them.  And they were good.

DEEMS THIS RECIPE: 
Easy enough... 
for pie, that is.

*I don't live close to a place that sells cocoa butter for baking purposes, otherwise I would have used that.  For some recipes calling for cocoa butter, you can substitute white chocolate and reduce some of the sugar.  You'd have to check the ingredients on the white chocolate first, because cheaper, generic brands might not be made with cocoa butter.

**Chocolate "mousse" shots with leftover pie filling, possibly?

***Basic explanation here.  

****Because why not?  And see (**).